Hi…let me introduce myself…

True to casa reddogknits fashion, tubes in ears went off with a hitch - a two parter instead of the scheduled one time plan.  No food or drink after midnight (hello two part grouch and grouchier).  It was 11:45pm and the monitor was stirring - I figure, load him with a bottle and then scoop him up minutes before the transport and cram those tubes in so quick he won’t know what hit him.  I went to pick him up and he felt like one pepper o’ caliente!  One-o-two on the richter scale.  I spent the evening rocking, soaking Scrapola in cool bath and then finally making the decision to stuff the all too familair staple of the fever reducer (AKA - butt plug) into the dark side.  Fever down a little but compromise of no surgery.  Gangles promptly scooped up Nubsey (his bobbie bear has a appendage on the slight end) and we headed off…minus one child home with the grandparents.  The surgery went off without a hitch.  In the recovery room, I made the call to the grandparentals to check on the status of boy caliente.  My mother informed me that he woke up cool as a cucumber and was all smiles at the breakfast table.  The kid pulled a total Ferris Bueller.  Upon returning home and witnessing the Scrapster sitting on grandpa’s lap engaged in a heated discussion regarding if the blue, red, or the yellow fish was deserving of primary Dr. Seuss bragging rites, I informed my first born that I have every intention of cutting up some coffee stirrers and placing said stirrers in his ears myself if we have to wait another month to get him hearing.  We waited two weeks.  We scooped up Bobbi Brown (his Bobbi Bear minus the infused MJ contact buzz).  The morning after, I woke up on my own.  I slept.  Kind of.  I checked on them several times because it freaked me out so much to not wake up several times.  Hubby woke up too.  On his own.  We drank coffee.  We sat side by side and checked our e-mails.  We stared at each other.  We stared some more.  It was more awkward than our first meeting when we finished a 10K race.  We nodded, smiled, stared into space, sipped coffee, played with lint on our pjs.  I looked him in the eyes and said…Hi, my name is Kristi.  He introduced himself.  Monitors…silent.  I could hear the fish tank bubbling for the first time in 17 months.  The dogs were fed first.  The first time in 17 months.  I pet the cat.  I pet the other cat.  We watched the news…the same news from 17 months ago.  I contemplated if I was wearing clean underwear or underwear at all…for the first time in 17 months  We turned off the news.  That was the last silent morning we have had since…since the boys could hear.   No one prepped up for the fact that with more sleep, they would have more energy to do more things, and do them with a lot more chatting, loudness, and chatting.  It’s been a whirlwind.

We’ve had photo-ops…

We’ve been to ______ trips to the park:

 

we’ve learned about our teeth…

 

and water…

 

audtionned for Top Chef…

and planted seeds in gpa’s garden…

and wagon rides….

and…we are headed for our first road trip to Chicago museum land (send wine).

but, since tubes…we can now say….

“BALL!” very loudly and generalize to anything orb-shaped including boobs.  Larger endowed women at the mall are not real fond of us right now.

We can say “booger!” and pick one from our nose to give to you.

We can say “cracker! purple! chicken! turkey! shoes! socks! dog! baby! cheese! ” The “!” means we say EVERYTHING loud, real LOUD (!).

And knit a scarf (no, it is NOT a wrap or a shawl, it is a freaking BIG scarf, as described here (scroll down for description).

and some more stranded mittens…

But because of high energy..

I’ve decided to take the summer off from knitting….

Have a great one knitters!

 

Two Tall Mans to the World

You know the classic “Where is Thumbkin?” children’s song where each digit of the hand speaks to the other corresponding hand digit?  So dignified with your “How are you today Sir?”  “Very well, I thank you”.  We have a children’s DVD sing-along of well dressed, snot-free children sitting in a park (not eating grass or dirt or leaves or rocks) singing the song.  I wait with anticipation when they reach the good old middle finger.  Somehow these kids don’t look so dignified as their “tall mans” greet one another.  Is it wrong that seeing kids with their middle fingers in the air speaking to each other gives me a full on belly laugh each and every time.  Well, this post is about issuing my two tall mans to the world.  It’s a list.  Mind you, just because it’s a list does not mean that any of the items are organized or orderly. 

1.  Scrappy and Gangles have been on antibiotics since the fall of 2007 for chronic ear infections.  After running through the hoops of “wait and see” and “this” med and “that” med, we go to the Ear, Nose, and Throat doc who confirmed two failed hearing tests, no ear drum activity, and primo candidates for ear tubes.  I have been told by countless people that tubes are better than a superwash wool.  Magic.  Promises of babes sleeping through the night, speech advancement, guaranteed full scholarships to Harvard.  Hubby and I look like someone has told us that we have won a 10 year vacation to the ocean - all inclusive.  SIGN US THEM UP!!!!  A two month waiting list with the direction to keep our kids sick-free.  More antibiotics prescribed.  First issue of double Tall Man to the world!

2.  Gangles is congested, really congested.  Only one week until surgery.  He is issued nebulizer breathing treatments 4-6 times per day plus his antibiotic and Tylenol.  His breathing gets worse.  Second issue of TALL MAN TALL MAN!

3.  Gangles returns to a follow-up - surgery is a few days away.  He is given an additional capsule of some stuff and a steroid - side effect of moodiness and irritability.  TALL MAN TALL MAN!

4.  At same appointment, doc discovers pink eye.  One drop in each eye every 3 hours.  Make that two.  Scrappy loves to lick Gangles’ eyeballs.  At this point, we need to set our alarms to beep every two hours to give some med to some kid’s resistant kicking and screaming piehole.  If I had more middle fingers, I would give this one a triple threat of Tall Mans!

5.  Scappy is allergic to mold.  Claritin drops once daily, plus his antibiotic, plus the pink eye drops and some other stuff on the drug ledge arsenal.

6.  I get sick with vomitus diarrheass.  Tall Mans are down for the count but they are reissued double-time within 24 hours.

7.  Surgery date is approaching.  Gangles is still coughing, Scrappy is also now coughing with drippy eyes and snooty goop.  Wait and see.  I head to work with Tall Mans waving.

8.  Hubby sick from work.  One grandparent upstairs keeping children in a bubble to keep them well.  I pick up soup and saltines, return to work.  I’m just too tired to wave my Tall Men anymore, I do so mentally.

My two not-so-tall men are deserving:

and so is grandma:

 

 

It’s a fine row between love and hate

I’m a sucker for a LYS knit model.  This one was hanging at Threadbear in white.  I saw myself in it walking on a beach, bronzed skin kissed by the sun, perfected highlights with no gray roots.  And like a lot of my imagery exercises, I am usually by myself, looking unfrazzled, and well rested.  I am not lugging multiple bags, phones, planners, etc.  Light and airy.  Living in a fantasy world is acceptable coping in my book.

I saw myself wearing the white version.  Crisp, clean, sans pukecrustyboogerteddygrahamresidue.  However, Matt  (Happy Birthday my fellow Aries) presented me with a version in a raison/merlot combination.  I loved it, it was on sale, and I bought it.  I casted on.  It was then that I realized, these are shades/hues/whatever in purple.  Many of you know I am not a fan of the purple or purplesque fam.  I kept knitting only because everyone who saw it, commented on how they LOVED the color.  I just couldn’t see it but if enough people tell ya something, you wonder what is off in your brain synapses (synapi?) that you just can’t see it.  I also learned that holding two yarns together is also not my thing.  I wasn’t feeling it.

I finished all the pieces and let it sit.  I would ocassionally bump into it’s purple smirk glaring back at me but my rationale is why put the effort into finishing it if I wasn’t gonna wear it.  Why have a finished eff-up just to glare at me about making a bad choice.  I have enough reminders in my life that humble me to recognize that I eff up on a daily basis.  That’s why I knit - to create something that isn’t an eff-up.  So it sat.  I was hoping that during the sweater’s long drawn out union break, I would magically fall in love with it.  Just like that boyfirend that looks good but doesn’t have a ounce of brain matter, you can’t make yourself love something despite trying to convince yourself - it’s called settling.  I’ve outgrown settling. 

Time passed.  I needed closure.  It’s like couples who go to marriage counseling just to say they tried, even though they know they are done.  I decided to seam and finish it, just to say I tried and then divorce the hell out of it. 

As I was seaming, I had to do and redo the neck, do and redo the sleeves.  It was done seaming and then it sat some more.  Then I soaked it, and thew it down in the basement to block.  For a long time.  Then I decided that throwing something in a dark basement is just dragging it out.  I had to go down there, look it straight in the eye, and tell it I was done and that I was going to set it free in the Granger landfill.  Where it could find its happiness with dirty disposable diapers and rusty tires. 

I descended the stairs…

I looked at it straight in the stockinette/garter stich eye….

It was…..

……

PERFECT! 

I tried it on, it fits perfect, it feels perfect, and I love the color.  Something happened down in that basement.

pardon the bad hair day and squint - it was windy and the sun hasn’t shone in Michigan since September of 2007.

 

The Deats

Pattern:  Drops Pullover 78-8

Yarn:  Drops Cotton Viscose and Drops Safran held together (blech, never again for a sweater!)

Needles:  Addi size 7 and 8

Adjustments:  I mattress stiched some of the neck split for a design element (which me likey) and also as a deterrent to Scrappy’s constant habit of grabbing my girls - less accessible translates to less grabs - so far, so good. 

Comments:  Have I mentioned I don’t like knitting with yarns together?  Also, pieces of the sweater keep getting snagged on things - so don’t pick up the cat or hold your key chain in your mouth and let your keys dangle to hit the sweater. 

I am off to generate a list of all mistakes and unresolved issues I have.  Then I will send them to the magic basement.  If I look paler, I have been busy and there isn’t any sunlight down there.

 

Firsts

The morning of the big day, we have shots of both a baby mullet and a baby reverse mullet - either way both kids had parties on one end of their heads and business on the other.  It’s not a good look for an adult and for children, it qualifies as fashion neglect.  

Scrappy models the front mullet - demonstrating how a headband can prevent those stray hairs from hitting the eyes and keeping hair free from solidified oatmeal and/or applesauce.

Gangles sports the traditional mullet - cascading locks down the back and short feathered on the top.  Throw on a stained white tank top and a comb in his back pocket and my baby is traveling carnival fodder.

First snips:

Gangles gets de-mulletized

First looks of approval

First use of texturizing cream

First colorwork project

It was 80 degrees in Michigan on Saturday

Yes, it was 80 degrees here and the boys prove in their smiles alone that this is just more evidence to pack our goldfish crackers and blocks and head to a warmer climate:

(yes, I got all my hair butchered off and now have joined the Stepford wives in my hood and look like every Aveda hair stylist in East Lansing….but I love it!)

The above photo is dedicated to Aunties Lori and Kristina who clothe these guys in international and retro 70’s stripe garb.

Stacking

What have we been up to?  Since last post, we officially survived the first Easter egg dying incident of 2008.  Here is my entry for the cheesiest cornbread a’ la Normal Rockwell photo contest:

 

We’ve done some finger painting:

And we’ve done a whole lotta stacking.

The boys are at that developmental milestone of stacking stuff - measuring cups, bowls, containers….

We spent an entire day buying stacking toys - cups, containers, peg thingies, you name it, we got it…stacked.

I understand the power of stacking. 

It is very calming, very simple, orderly, controlled, scientific….The little cup goes in the bigger cup, the smaller peg thingy goes in the larger peg thingy…

Is it wrong that I spent over an hour stacking their stacking toys…

After they went to bed?

Had I not been stacking, I would be rocking….

in a corner….rocking

stacking….

Can I be the first to say that knitting stockinette is the equivalent of a stacking toy?

But just like stacking, stockinette can produce an incredible product, especially if it is felted with zippers and sewn with backpack straps and buckles.

Monster backpack initial model:

Monster backpack awaiting it’s breakfast time recipient:

The reception:

The try on:

In action:

 

The Details

Pattern:  Mocho Mochi Felted Backpack by Urraca - free pattern!

Yarn:  Cascade 220 - olive, red, white

Needles:  10.5

My 2 cents:  I have to say this pattern scared the jiggers out of me with all the zippers, buckles, straps, etc. but all of it went off without a hitch - the zipper went in perfect, the buckles and straps no prob!  It’s a great pattern and the size is perfect for a toddler to stash about a pound of goldfish crackers and a couple diapers/wipes - it’s gotta be one of the cutest things I’ve made to date and it’s functional - it’s about time these guys start lugging some of their own crap around.  I consider it part of my back rehab therapy.

Once the Dust Settles

I have spent a week dusting and dusting and cleaning walls and dusting and dusting some more…evidence:

Yes, hubbo is there carefully supervising from another room after making the pledge that he would not operate any heavy machinery or cutting tools of any shape or form.

I plan to go to Phil’s house and set up a sawhorse thingy in his bedroom and saw away and then to Billy’s house to tile cut in his bathroom.

Progress?

Voila!

I gave hubbo clearance with the blank wall we had in the bedroom as long as there were no beer or MSU art, this was his compromise:

I have one picture that I was able to capture with two boys who are not fighting over the same book, corn chip, cup, diaper, sock, lap…

This is a more realistic picture of their relationship:

Potty training should be interesting.

But when dust settles, other more important things can commence:

Today: A Story in Still Life

The best way for me to blog of my world is to present it via a collection of photos. 

Our bathroom and bedroom floors are being redone. 

Here is my bathroom:

I guess this is that one time where taking a pee in the shower is permitted.

Here is the location of my current  bedroom.  Otis is still figuring out how he can plant his arse on a bed that is now vertical against a wall.  If anyone will be able to figure out how to sleep for 23.5 hours a day on a vertical bed, it will be him.

My new dressing area and cat flop house:

I just looked at Maslow in the above shot and can’t for the life of me figure out which end is her front and which is her rear.  Note to self, call groomer on Monday.  Second note to self…find new location of phone and then call groomer. 

This is what a raging ear infection looks like when it is treated with an antibiotic shot and motrin chaser:

And this is a up close shot of a toddler in any cold midwestern state from December until May.  Honestly people, I just cleaned it out less than an hour ago.  I give up, I just give up.

ocean toes

Ocean Toes in the Snow

Ocean Toes at the Capital City Airport

Ocean Toes in the Motor City Airport

Ocean Toes En Route

Ocean Toes 

Pattern:  Ocean Toes, tall size, New Pathways for Sock Knitters, Book One, Cat Bordhi, Cedar Architecture

Yarn:  Alpaca Sox, Classic Elite Yarns

Needles:  Addi, size 1, two circs, 24 inchers

The Skinny:  I gotta say, I love Cat’s book and patterns and am anxious to get started on other patterns, other EASIERpatterns.  There are all sorts of new cast ons and cast offs and toes and heels…  I learned new things and was not bored.  Be forewarned people, Ocean Toes is purdy but is not a take on the go pattern - 5 charts with not the easiest of pattern for memory.  Also, if you opt for the taller version, make sure you have some serious yardage on your skank - I had a good bit left over with the Alpaca Sox.  I loved the cast on and these socks stay up better than any of my others.  The yarn was a dream as it has that little bit of Alpaca.  I’m proud of these babies.

Nassau seemed the perfectest place to take the much anticipated photo shot because nothing screams a winter cardigan more than a 90 degree day.

Let’s do a quick recap of the original photo that served as the sole inspiration for the selection of said pattern:

Smart looking headband?  Check!  Maybe not smart as it was stolen out of my old 80’s headband archival trunk of hair do- dads, and there was nothing smart about 80’s fashion.  But this served in a pinch. 

Look of contentment? Check!  No kids, No Job, No cell phone, and enough Pina Coladas to make the natives fear that I poached so much rum that extinction was forthcoming. 

Perfect Wavy Hair:  My hair is actually very wavy and curly (do you understand why the 80’s was my time to really shine??) but for this picture, I just took it out of a rubber-band that had my hair waded up in a million different directions as to protect my pina colada(s).

Ta Da!

 

Pattern:  Tweed Cardigan, Jo Sharp, Knit Issue 2

Yarn:  Jo Sharp Silkroad Tweed, 6 balls

Needles:  Size 3 and 6

The Skinny:  I love it!  It’s soft, it goes with a dress up or a dress down look, and the yarn’s flecks o’ stuff make it look almost as sophisticated as my rockin’ 80’s headband. It did take me a long time to knit and there was lots of seaming but it was worth it.

I’m writing this post sleep deprived, with smeared poop on my sweatshirt, my hair tied in a knot, and simultaneously trying to organize my work schedule for the remainder of the week…something says that reality has returned and the above photo shoot was a big hallucination….

A Knitting Pure and Simple Goof

It takes about 5 minutes for people to meet Scrappy and Gangles to declare they have never meet two kids with such distinct personalities.  When I saw the Pirate Sweater by Zoe Mellor, it screamed Scrappy - rough, kooky, uninhibited, and the kid is like Bam-Bam with picking up an entire play kitchen and carrying it down the hallway like it’s a feather.  He dives into ball pits, foam pads, and attempts to nose dive down our stairs at every opportunity the gate is open.  He belly laughs when you throw him on the bed, is a climber, jumper, and baby Evil Kiniviel. 

To pick a sweater for Gangles, required a little more thought in the selection process.

Gangles is purely and simply, a goof.  A bit cautious, an intellectual, and a social butterfly.  Loving the smaller version of the pattern, I opted for the larger toddler size of the Knitting Pure and Simples Children’s Tunic.  I decided that I would find a yarn that would reflect the many faces of Gangles.  Here is the result:

Gangles as the Unabomber:

I forgot to get a close up shot of the cool button but it is a wood carved fish.

Gangles in a JCPenny Catalog pose:

Gangles admiring Mexican wall art:

Runway Gangles:

Gangles stalking an unsuspecting Otis asleep on the bedroom floor:

Sitting Gangles (a rare shot)

 

Pattern:  Knitting Pure and Simple Children’s Tunic

Needles:  Size 6 and 8

Yarn:  Dream in Color, Classy, Strange Harvest

Size:  Toddler 2-4 - should last us two winter seasons.

And no, I didn’t forget Valentines Day - how could I?

This post is dedicated to Marina.